it hasn't felt like this before (amelia)

[sarahnobles]

Amelia fought the urge to shake her head in order to clear her thoughts. This shouldn’t be so complicated, but it was. She was tempted to ask Rebecca what she thought…of what? Of them? The junior would think she was nuts, stop acting so strange Amelia. Enjoy yourself. Still what did Rebecca think…of the two of them. To distract her thoughts she watched Rebecca, glad she was taking control of the situation. A soft smile settled on her lips, no need to be nervous. I cant see any reason for anyone to hate you. Her loss. Her loss, my gain Amelia thought to herself, but she kept that little tidbit out of her note. Her brown eyes where focused on the note, it was so tempting to just add more, but how?

An idea came to her and added, if I show u something do you promise not to run away? Her drawing. That was an important piece to the puzzle of her emotions. Perhaps Rebecca knew where that piece belonged. She passed her note to Rebecca and then reached under her chair, where she had placed her sketch pad and pulled it out. Would Beck find it creepy? Odd, that she had chosen to draw her instead of a bird or a bowl of fruit. Amelia’s art expressed her thoughts and emotions. She didn’t have control over it sometimes. The drawing of Rebecca drew itself. She had been just as surprised as Rebecca would be to see it when her face at emerged on the paper. Nervously she flipped through a few pages until the pencil Rebecca was smiling up at her before stealing a glance at the real Rebecca as she read her note. Worst case scenario Rebecca might actually runaway, but maybe she would be flattered. At the very least curious?

She swallowed already seconding guessing herself. This wasn’t her, Amelia was confident, sure of herself and her actions. Rebecca just…she made everything so confusing and despite the nerves she liked how she made her feel.

[dramaqueenscpa]

i know you're scared that i'll soon be over it.
that's part of it all.
part of the beauty of falling in love with you
is the fear you won't fall.

the waitress soon came back with their orderas, but rebecca didn't touch her chai at first. her gaze was focused on amelia hand as she ran the pen over the paper again, replying to her note. it felt funny to be passing notes with someone again. and fresh. she couldn't deny that the feeling felt new, like she had fallen in again. it amazed, confused, and frightened her all at the same time. the butterflies fluttered in her stomach. how would this end?

rebecca's eyes wandered over amelia's face, subtly trying to read what was going on inside her head. she bit back a smile at the slight twitches in her eyebrows when she wrote, pinching together momentarily when she gave something a second thought. the smile that played on the deaf girl's lips didn't fade. rebecca wondered what she was writing. at last, the notebook was slid to her again, and her eyes poured over the paper. it made her chuckle under her breath a bit, amused by amelia's words. she agreed, slightly. joslin was a jealous girl and it never worked out between them. but, they broke up because rebecca wasn't willing to be "committed" to her. she couldn't stomach that thought with her. it sounded like she was being put into an aslyumn or something.

the second part of the note was puzzling. rebecca furrowed her eyebrows a bit, thinking of what amelia meant by 'show her something'. and why would she run away? was it that horrible? the junior raised her head and titled her head in a confused fashion. she read over amelia's face again, wishing she could read her mind to see what she was talking about and why she seemed nervous all of a sudden. rebecca caught the second notepad in her hands and pointed to it, raising her eyebrows.

what is it? she signed to amelia, feeling her heart beat out of synch. it couldn't have been that bad. could it?

[sarahnobles]

Amelia sometimes felt like she was in third grade again passing notes to friends. Her dislike for the form of communication wouldn’t be expressed in words. She did have to admit, however grudgingly, that it was better then no way at all. Mind reading, like Rebecca was wishing for, would be helpful, but it wasn’t exactly appealing to imagine the entire world being able to read her mind at every thought.

Fidgeting from nerves was foolish, but a behavior Amelia couldn’t help. She stirred her tea simply to keep her hands busy and occupied and in order to drop her sketchpad. Rebecca wouldn’t really run away, but still she was concerned it would upset her. A smile was forced onto her lips at Rebecca’s question, she still so shocked and overjoyed that her friend could and would sign for her. With a sigh she picked up the notebook again and opened to the unfinished sketch of Rebecca, done in pencil. Amelia pushed it across the small table to the girl sitting in front of her. With apprehension she signed, I thought you would make a nice sketch. She paused briefly then added, It isn’t done yet.A shrug followed her statement and she hoped she had remained at a pace that would be understood by Rebecca. When she was finished her hands found their way to the side of her tea cup. Where did her confidence run off to? Amelia had never been ashamed of displaying her work before. Heck her dorm room had her own art for wall paper. Amelia had covered every available space with blank paper and would doodle on it in her spare time. With the exception of her the wall by her head where numerous tick-tack-toe resided her art was everywhere.

To pass the time she waited for a response she added sugar to her tea. It couldn’t have been barely three minuets yet it seemed like an eternity.

OOC: I posted on ur thread in plot discussion. I know its old, but we still have some plot holes to fill

[dramaqueenscpa]

i know you're scared that i'll soon be over it.
that's part of it all.
part of the beauty of falling in love with you
is the fear you won't fall.

something was off here. rebecca eyed amelia carefully as she sid the notepad back to her and explained what it was. the junior found herself unable to look down until her friend finished speaking. the tremble in her hands as she signed made rebecca feel uneasy. was there something wrong with the sketch? or was the intention behind it the cause of her nervousness? rebecca poured over the picture with her eyes, and saw no fault in either one. it was beautiful. the way she captured her mini dimples, the smile lines that were budding at the corners of her eyes, the twinkle in her eye. it felt almost vain to admire a drawing of herself, but rebecca marveled over it. she glanced up at amelia again from under her lashes and saw her stir sugar into her tea, the tremble causing the spoon to clink against the inside of the glass.

rebecca's heart did a double flip inside her chest. in a secret way. she was relieved that she wasn't the only one trembling in fear over this whole ordeal. it made her feel safe to have so many emotiosn running around in her head, although she couldn't figure out which ones were running through amelia's. and it didn't help that one of the many emotions was guilt. did she come on too strong? impossible! she was only being friendly, not 'friendly'. as she thought over the sketch and the emotions and the exptression on her friend's face, she felt a pang of sympathy.

without thinking over her action, she reached across the small distance between them and took her free hand in hers. she gave her most confident smile and signed with her other hand, it's beautiful. i love it. rebecca gave her hand a slight squeeze and pulled hers back. there was no need to be ashmaed of her artwork. it was lovely. but...perhaps that wans't the reason why she was so nervous about showing it to her. the girl gave a confused frown as she looked down at the picture again. she absentmindedly picked up her latte and sipped as she thought. rebecca was never the one to be romantic or open about love, but she did feel that emotion. but, she wasn't used to this. she usually met someone and they fell head over heels. this stretched out process was far more time consuming. so, she gave it a shot.

why... she signed, trying to find the words, why were you afraid of showing me this?

[sarahnobles]

Amelia’s gaze was startled away from her tea by Rebecca’s grasp. Her warm hand around her own, the gently squeeze. Thankfully the junior was pleased. She wasn’t weirded out and didn’t even seem too surprised at the picture. The sophomore sighed, relieved at Beck’s response, as she pulled her hand away. It was as if a huge weight was lifted off her shoulders. They had only just met, but each time the older girl surprised her. First writing instead of speaking, then knowing asl, and now her response. Nothing about Rebecca was predictable.

She found herself somewhere between pleased and ecstatic that Rebecca loved her portrait and watched the junior sipped her latte with a whole knew perspective on their outing. Her good mood deflated like a balloon at the other girl’s question. Why? Because the picture was proof of how much she thought about Rebecca, it was proof of her confusion over their relationship. It was proof she had no idea what the two of them where doing at a café. She was silent, thinking, for a moment before responding. when I draw I know why I draw what I do. What I’m feeling, what the inspiration is, what the theme or thought behind it is. Her signing paused as she mulled how to explain all of this to Rebecca. It was easiest just to be blunt, but that made her almost has nervous as if she was showing her the picture all over again. This is what she gets for rushing in and telling, well showing, Rebecca so much. I don’t know what I thought or felt when I drew you. She also started every picture with an idea in mind, but with Rebecca her pencil just moved on its own, she didn’t even realize who she was drawing until she was almost done.

OOC: sorry 4 the delay and crappy post

[dramaqueenscpa]

i know you're scared that i'll soon be over it.
that's part of it all.
part of the beauty of falling in love with you
is the fear you won't fall.

as amelia signed, rebecca felt her stomach twist itself back into knots. it was driving her crazy to keep this all bottled up inside. it required all her internal strength to keep from blurting it out like a fool. rebecca clasped her hands on top of the table, trying to ignore the way her knuckles turned sheet white under the pressure. she felt stupid for letting her emotions run away with her logic so easily, but she couldn't help it. she was a girl with a romantic heart, no matter how much she shied from committment. she wanted someone who would stay by her side until she was old and graying. but, this feleing made her uneasy. she figured it would be better than what she experienced in carter's room. that was unexpected and weird. this was her norm: find a girl and fall head over heels for her. but why did she feel so afraid?

that makes two of us, she signed without thinking, the words also escaping through her lips in a strangled whisper. rebecca heard the words echo in her head as she sipped her latte, not tasting the chai spices or the warmth as it rushed down her throat. her gaze fixed itself on the tabletop, unable to lift itself to amelia's face. rebecca was fighting her own battle. she didn't need to add any more stress to her already burdened head. the junior sat down her mug and sighed. it wasn't going to end until she got the courage to express herself fully. and she needed to get it out of her like she needed to get a disease out of her system. she lifted her gaze slowly from the table and looked deep into amelia's eyes. this was the right time.

please don't be afraid, she cautioned, her eyes and words wary, but i have it tell you how i feel. i... she stopped and glanced down, feeling her heart beat faster and her face blush a deep scarlet. she breathed in deeply and looked up again and finished, like you. but it's much more than like. but i don't know how to explain it. it's been driving me crazy. she hung her head and leaned her elbows on her table, threading her fingers into her hair. she couldn't look up at amelia. soon, she guessed, she would hear the sound of the chair scraping against the floor and footsteps leading to the front door until they, along with amelia, would disappear. rebecca breathed in and out, waiting for those sounds.

[sarahnobles]

Amelia was the opposite. She found it difficult to express her emotions. Happiness, pride, etc was easy, but fear, angry, regret, and sadness. All those negative emotions where bottled up and locked away until she couldn’t control them and they exploded out. This was very difficult for her, allowing her confusion and fear to leak out little by little. It would be much easier if they could laugh and forget about all of this, but the feelings where to passionate to be ignored. She drummed her fingers on the table, her left hand gently rocking her cup of tea. The soft thumping of her drumming fingers paused when Rebecca admitted she shared similar feelings and then resumed at a faster pace. The urge to sink and blend right into the chair was strong, suddenly anxiety was turning to an uncomfortable panic. The sophomore kept her gaze on Rebecca’s lips, unwilling to meet her eyes. Her mouth parted slightly as she followed Rebecca’s words until the older girl’s gaze fell on the table.

Was it possible for others to hear your heartbeat? It was pounding so strongly in her ears she was sure Rebecca or someone would hear it. Was Rebecca’s heart beating just as fast? She watched her run a hand through her thick dark hair. Freshmen year Shakespear ran through her head, ‘Oh to be a glove on that hand that I may touch thy cheek’ or something along those lines. She understood Romeo’s longing to touch, to be connected some how to Juliet. She wanted to stroke Rebecca’s hair and tell her it was okay, but it wasn’t okay. She was confused and flustered. This was a puzzle she couldn’t solve. Without knowing what to say she sat silently. Finally she reached over for Rebecca’s hand. Nervously she gave it a squeeze. Both to get her attention so she would look up and to reassure her. What now?, she signed.

[dramaqueenscpa]

i know you're scared that i'll soon be over it.
that's part of it all.
part of the beauty of falling in love with you
is the fear you won't fall.

what rebecca heard wasn't what she expected. she didn't hear anything from the gilr that sat before her. was she still sitting there, or did she simply disappear from her heat without a sound? the junior fought the urge to look up for several moments, but finally gave in. she looked up and let her hands fall back to the table. it was silent across from her, and when she looked to her friend she saw amelia gazing at her. it made her lower her eyes again, slightly ashamed she admitted it. this wasn't like her at all. she was always outgoing and honest about her feelings, especially these. why did she feel so nervous to speak her mind about her heart? rebecca bit her lip and waited for some sort of consolation, a sign that everything would be okay.

a hand wrapped around her own was that sign. rebecca again lifted her gaze to amelia and felt herself smile again. she honestly couldn't answer that question. her heart was beating too fast. she felt a slight bluish creep across her cheeks and she laughed. she signed with her free hand, i don't know. maybe... she stopped her thought before it could fall out of her hands. was amelia okay with her feelings? or did she mistake rebecca's feelings for mere friendship? rebecca trie dot push the thought away, but it haunted her the moment it entered her mind.

rebecca's smile slightly dropped from her lips and she considered her options. her mind was racing with all her crazy thoughts and assumptions, but all she could clearly see was the face glowing across from her, less than a fot away. she lifted her hand still wrapped in amelia's and ran the back of it across the girl's cheek, feeling the soft skin against hers. that was what cleared her mind and made the deciding all the easier for her. rebecca released her hand from amelia's and held it at the side of her face, leaning across the small table so their noses touched. she barely had to lean from her seat. she felt her lips curl up into a slight smile for a brief moment before she pressed her lips softly to amelia's.

[sarahnobles]

If anyone could disappear completely it probably was Amelia, but only if she wanted to. Just because she was mute doesn’t mean she wouldn’t be heard or seen. Right now as awkward as the situation was, there was no where else she would rather be. Rebecca laughed, but it didn’t do much to ease her tension. It wasn’t a carefree laugh, it relief or maybe shock. Her forest brown eyes greedily drank in the image before her. Her hand felt clammy in Rebecca’s warm gentle grasp and a small smile appeared on her face as Rebecca stroked it. For a moment the fear and uncertainty lifted, Rebecca’s face grew closer. A playful smile on her lips. She could feel the juniors breath on her face, smell her sweet sent. It was difficult to describe and almost earthy. Perhaps from working with clay.

Her eyes opened wide when Rebecca kissed her, not the movie picture perfect kiss. Without thinking she kissed back, deepening the kiss, but almost as quickly she pulled back sharply shocked at her own response. For a horrible moment she stared at Rebecca shocked, feelings of joy, regret, fear, shame, and guilt enveloping her. It wasn’t Rebecca, she didn’t want to upset her, Amelia just didn’t know how to respond to her own feelings. Rebecca, I’m sorry, she signed. She was frightened. I don’t know, I need to. No I mean-wait. She was afraid Rebecca would get angry and leave, that wasn’t what she wanted. But this…how would her father respond? that was nice, I just... She couldn’t finish her thought. Now it was Rebecca’s turn to run, hopefully without dumping her latte on top of Amelia’s head. It must be horrible, she knew, to take a risk like that and receive a reaction like Amelia’s.

OOC: I keep forgetting 2 mention i love ur new siggy! and sorry for the crappy post, bit of a ramble

[dramaqueenscpa]

i know you're scared that i'll soon be over it.
that's part of it all.
part of the beauty of falling in love with you
is the fear you won't fall.

words could not describe the feelign that ripped through rebecca. it was consuming fire and ice in the same breath. it was disneyland and ice cream and ferris wheels and fireworks and chocolate-covered-cherries all at the same time. it lasted mere seconds, but it knocked the wind out of the girl. she felt amelia pull back and rebecca opened her eyes. the look of amazement on amelia's face surprised her a bit, and she felt the aftertaste on her tongue. has she gone too far? was amelia afraid now? would she despise rebecca for kissing her? these thoughts scrambled together as the junior watched her friend from across the table. she could hear her heart beating in her ears. she swallowed and waited longer. seconds passed, minutes passed before she raise dher hands to sing. they were shaking.

are you... she began to ask a question, but couldn't recall how to say 'upset' or 'afraid' or even 'mad'. she paused and took in a deep breath. she remembered one and took a guess. mad? rebecca bit her lip and felt her heart sink. maybe she took her drawing's meaning another way. perhaps she drew it because she thought of rebecca as a goppd friend, not any further than that. the glimmer of hope inside her was dimming a bit, and the junior felt a tear form at the top of her heart. she looked deep into amelia's eeys and said, please tell me you felt the same as me. i must know how you feel.

rebecca scooted her chair around the round table so she could sit almost next to the girl. she cautiously reached out and cradled amelia's cheek in her palm, feeling the warmth under her skin again. it made the feelinjgs inside fade away, an echo in the back of her mind. rebecca wanted this so badly it hurt to see it linger so close yet out of reach. the girl rubbed her thumb in circles over the skin of her face, breathing in and out to keep herlungs from collapsing insdioe her chest. her heart throbbed louder.

without thinking, she whispered, "please say you felt it too."

[sarahnobles]

Amelia caught the movement of the older girl’s hands from the corner of her eyes. She couldn’t seem to tear her eyes away from her face, but struggled to look her in the eyes. Admist the confusion raging inside her, a new feeling bubbled to the surface, not the most romantic, but a wonderful feeling; relief. Rebecca, had made sense of everything for her. Whether what she felt was wrong or right wasn’t important at the moment. What was important that she knew. Rebecca showed her what she felt. What the desires where when she couldn’t even name them herself.

Amelia smiled. A bright joyous small and placed her hand over Rebecca’s on her face. She nodded and signed with her free hand I don’t know how I feel about it, but I yea, I felt it do. She could feel her cheeks burning red, but didn’t care. She was embarrassed, she was just filled with emotion. The girl in front of her was beautiful and suddenly Amelia had her all to herself. The most beautiful model, a work of art, living breathing art. Carefully, as if afraid she would do something wrong, she placed her lips softly against Rebecca’s. Yes, she felt it to.

If it she wasn’t so wrapped up in her own thoughts she would be upset by the hostile glances the pair was receiving from Rebecca’s ex. She would be glancing around the room to see who else had observed their private moment. Really though, did it matter if anyone saw? She had just kissed Rebecca Murphy. Let the whole world know. Right or wrong it had felt good.

[dramaqueenscpa]

i know you're scared that i'll soon be over it.
that's part of it all.
part of the beauty of falling in love with you
is the fear you won't fall.

a smile drew itself again across rebecca's face to see those words flow from amelia's hands. to now that she wasn't the only one who felt so alive again, it was extremely relieving. the junior sighed and signed, thank you. it wasn't but a few more moments before amelia leaned in to kiss her, which both shocked and pleased rebecca. the girl kissed her back gently, fearing to go in any further and risk something drastic and...oh, what the hell! rebecca moved her free hand to the nape of amelia's nack, running her fingers into the girl's thick, mahogany hair and pressed her lips more firmly to hers, molding them together. like clay, they seemed to lock together nicely. a snug fit. the fire that rebecca felt before was simmering beneath her lips as she drew back to take a breath. it was shallow, quiet and ragged in her chest. she looked to amelia, only inches from her, and smiled. it was her silent gesture of gratitude.

rebecca didn't notice her ex's glares or anyone else's stares. all she could see and cared about was the face before her, glowing pink skin and radiant eyes, brown like melted chocolate or sunlight on deep amber. the sight of this beauty, now hers like a perched bird in her opened palm, made rebecca's heart sing with joy. her hand, still intertwined in the back of amelia's hair, freed itself so she could run her fingertips over amelia's face. she felt her cheeks, her lips, her eyebrows, her earlobes. they were all soft to her touch and senst sensations down her arms, raising goosebumps from her wrists to her shoulders. freeing both her hands, rebecca scooted back a bit to say, thank you...again. i can't tell you how this has been killing me, to tell you how i feel. it'been only days, weeks, since i first met you, but it was enough for me. for some it took years to fall for someone, others it took only moments. rebecca felt lucky to fall into the latter category, as she was an impatient girl. waiting for love wasn't her style.



this is weird, considering i'm straight.

[sarahnobles]

Amelia wasn’t the most experienced with dating to say the least. She had only dated a few guys, nothing very serious and she found herself following instinct. This was all new to her, the fact that it was with Rebecca just complicated matters, but her actions seemed natural, they where right and the sophomore wanted to trust them. Rebecca’s positive reaction was making it easier to trust her gut. She found herself closing her eyes, enjoying their closeness, their small private moment as Rebecca’s hand traveled her face.

Her forest brown eyes opened as the lovely junior moved back, for a moment Amelia was alarmed, afraid she had done something wrong and relief washed over her when Rebecca started to speak. With a smile the sophomore shook her head, I should be thanking you, I never would have… her hands paused as she thought. would have considered taking a chance like this, with you. It was strange how quickly her perception of Rebecca had changed. From friend to girlfriend. Suddenly she didn’t have to hesitate to stroke her cheek or fight the uncontrollable emotions raging inside her. They had a name, love, and they where free. Well love was probably too strong a word, love as a friend yes, but at the moment she cared for Rebecca. That much was acknowledged, but not quite love yet.

A wide smile seemed to be permanently etched to her face, she didn’t even realize how much her confusion had been upsetting her. Nor did she expect to be so happy with what had just happened. This isn’t what I expected. Amelia didn’t want her statement to be taken offensively, but this was quite…ok it was weird. She thought it was weird and yet wonderful right at the same time.

OOC: yeah, it’s a little weird lol

[dramaqueenscpa]

i know you're scared that i'll soon be over it.
that's part of it all.
part of the beauty of falling in love with you
is the fear you won't fall.

It was new and yet so familiar all at the same time for rebecca, and she had living evidence practicaly breathing down her neck. She knew Joslin would be watching like a hawk, and most likely scoffing her while she enjoyed her moment with Amelia. Rebecca remembered all too well the horros of her past relationships, a road she didn't want to go down this time. She wouldn't back out like she did before. Reebecca was becoming a stronger woman and was trying to learn to stick with it. It didn't help that the skeletons in her closet were haunting her around every corner.

Luckily Amelia was there to distract her from the pair of eyes boring into her back. Reebecca smiled and reached out again to brush a lock of hair from her cheek, shaking her head slightly. Don't thank me. You hold so much trust in me, it's amazing. The junior saw it in her eyes, the trust and the love mixed together. It brought a smile to her face to know that she wasn't alone anymore, and that her secret she held inside hesrelf for all that time was free. She could freely reach out and carress her cheek, admire the glow on her skin and the twinkle in her eye, press their lips together.

This is perfect, Reebecca thought to herself, and nothing will destroy this feeling. Nothing.

Then, an idea struck her. With a smile on her face and a lightbulb going off in her head, Rebecca dug into her pocket for money to pay for their drinks. She laid a twenty out and freed her hand so she could say, Come with me. I want to show you something. She stood and held out her hand for Amelia. Since they were officially together, Reebecca knew it would be the perfect time to take Amelia to her "gallery".

[sarahnobles]

Amelia would be Rebecca’s distraction any day. She was a loyal person to begin with, quick to trust, and rapidly falling in love. Well, perhaps that is a little much, but young girls are often over dramatic. Amelia was almost fidgeting with impatience while Rebecca spoke, while she clung to every word she wanted nothing more to put her lips against Rebecca’s. Fortunately she didn’t have to wait long. Her face was flushed with excitement and embarrassment at the junior’s words. It wasn’t as if she had any reason to distrust Rebecca, besides Amelia was simply running on emotion and instinct. Rebecca was giving her too much credit.

She watched her lay the money on the table and before she could protest she found Rebecca offering her hand. Well, she could always argue later. The junior was obviously excited and Amelia wouldn’t want to disappoint her. She stood up, grasping Rebecca’s warm hand in her own. Her skin was soft and smooth, baby’s bottom. With her free hand she gestured towards the door so Rebecca could lead the way. The decision to take her notebook and sketchbook with her came only out of habit; her conscious thought was focused solely on the girl in front of her. How long would it take for the shock and wonder to where off? Hopefully it never would.

With both hands occupied Amelia couldn’t ask where they where going, but she raised an eyebrow in curiosity as they walked out onto the street, silently asking for an answer. Gently she swung their hands back and forth, feeling silly and giddy. The caffeine didn’t help, not that tea had much caffeine to begin with.