Without Words :. Amelia .:

[Lamia Zoya Smirnov]

It was a cool day the city, the was hidden behind a few low hanging clouds as if they threatened rain. But hadn't yet dared to unload on the city. People walked about to and from classes talking on cell phones or to those near by. But few paied any mind to anyone but the small groups that were themselves. Lamia had never been one to socialize with others, it wasn't because she was self centered or uninterested in others. It was more that she didn't like the stares that came with people. Even if she couldn't see them, she could feel the stares. So many were cold and heartless or just plain uncaring.

So here she was, alone for the moment, she sat texting back and forth with her brother. Apparently she was anti-social and she needed to talk more outside of her "box". Or so one of the guidance counselor thought. Lamia honestly didn't care her world was her brother. The people here hardly gave her even a second thought. But the counselor thought other wise. So here Lamia was waiting for someone She only knew by name. According to the concelior the teen, a sophomore, Amelia Sarah Nobles. She was deaf and mute, so she'd been told.

It was interesting to say the least, it could be a strange meeting. Already it was clear they'd have use cells. The counselor had given them each other's numbers. They'd talked over cells for almost a week now and so came the time to try a meeting in person, even if the conversation would still remain without words. Both were still unsure where or how this would go, but Lamia was willing enough to at least give it a shot.

Though they'd talked on cells before today it would still be very strange. She wanted to but was aprehensive about it too. They seemed to get along well enough over cells but in person it could be different. She was hoping even dispite her so called 'anti-social' was that it would work out. It could be fun maybe a friendship. Lamia wouldn't have minded if it did work out in fact she hoped it would.

Pressing a button on her watch it announced the time, acording to that it wouldn't be long before Amelia would be here. The ringtone for her brother was heard again, she listened to the spoken text through a pair of headphones. She smiled replying back to him. He was all for her getting to know other people, it would be good for her. Lamia replied back to him and hit send just as she heard footsteps. They weren't just those walking around her, they seemed dead center upon her as if moving in her direction. She waited quietly in the near totaly darkness of her vision waiting to see if this may be Amelia. In the black bag near her two sets of eyes, unseen, looked out at the goings on around them. Star and Satar hidden away yet always keeping a watchful eye upon their girl.


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OOC: Sorry for the ramble, my muse died, I just went on for the sake of it not being a puny post. Hope it works.. . >.< Plus I admit distraction by Dark Angel. ;p Girls kick butt!

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[sarahnobles]

Amelia was running late, something that although not uncommon, wasn’t usual for her. She made an effort to be on time when meeting people, especial for first impressions. She was on her way to meet another student, another disabled student. Excitement bubbled inside her, but she was also a little nervous. It was impossible to know how their encounter would go. She walked briskly across campus weaving in and out of crowds of students, chewing her lower lip as she thought. The sophomore she was meeting, Lamia, was blind or nearly blind. Her guidance councilor had decided they would be a good match, she had actually said ‘you could be bifels’ BIf-ELs not b.f.f.l., but as a word. Her brown hair whipped her in the face as she shook her head at the Memory, it had been very difficult not to smile or laugh at her.

Amelia and Lamia had been texting for a few days, the only way they could speak to one another. She was hoping Lamia would speak out loud, then she, Amelia, could just read her lips and text back. It would be better if they could just talk, but being mute Amelia couldn’t. It might be a good thing that she was mute, or that was what she tried to convince herself. It is very difficult to learn to speak if you are deaf, you cant hear your pitch or tone and she was told deaf speakers often sounded strange, at least in the beginning. Still she would love to be able to speak, it would make life so much easier.

As she approached their meeting spot she slowed to a normal walk. One glance at her watch let her know she was no longer late. She smiled, glad she wouldn’t be late. The walks weren’t as crowded as she expected. Students still mingled around, but it didn’t look busy. Sitting by herself on one of the benches was a brunette, about her age. Headphones had found a home in her ears and her attention seemed to be a phone in her hands. A black bag by her feet. Amelia pulled her phone out of pocket as she approached. Should she tap her on the shoulder or just text her? She had never been in a situation like this before. She sat down on the girls left and then sent Lamia a text.

Hi, I think I’m sitting next 2 u. If not some girl is going to think im a freak lol

OOC:sorry bit of crappy post

[Lamia Zoya Smirnov]

Lamia had actually been sitting there for a bit, her class let out early so she'd she was out before. An didn't have a class after this, so she had time and didn't mind waiting, it gave her enough time to work on her homework. She was about half way through it time she started texting her brother out of boredom. The counselor hadn't given Lamia that spill, which was best, if she had Lamia likely would have growled about it. She hated being told stuff like that. But it was true what Amelia had been told Lamia was legally blind. She could see very little. Blurred shapes but nothing that would have been able to get along easily without the assistance she got from her brother or furry friends.

She was always texting her brother, so it was nothing add in another person to text. She enjoyed it so much easier than calling someone to just say some quick thing. Already too Amelia had made her smile and laugh a little with the texts so she was egar to meet her in person. If Amelia wanted Lamia to speak aloud she need only ask it. She didn't mind speaking aloud she only hope the girl could understand her accent. She couldn't understand it had to be hard not being able to hear, or speak but both? Even her being blind neither of the three were a good thing.

Lamia's unseeing eyes raised slightly over her dark shades glancing towards the approaching person as if she saw them. There weren't people on the walks often so it was easier to talk or get around for people like the two girls here now. She felt her sit down near her. She smiled lightly. as she had started to type a text to the girl on her cell, designed especially for her, it had braille on it so she could text easily enough. She felt her cell vibrate in her hands, hitting a button she heard the text spoken in her ear through the pair of headphones there.

Lamia laughed lightly, Hi, I thought it was you. Not many come down these walks. So yes it is me. Not to worry no need for anyone to freak. ;p

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OOC: Not crappy at all, mine is worse off. Watching Gremlins. TV is not good for my muse.

[sarahnobles]

Amelia didn’t mind being called disabled. She was, she had accepted that. It wasn’t an insult, just a characteristic. Being deaf didn’t define her it was just a part of her. You could call it whatever you wanted, handicap, disabled, she was still just Amelia. The only phrase that bothered her was ‘deaf and dumb’. Just because she is mute doesn’t make her an idiot. Who came up with that? It’s deaf and mute.

Amelia smiled when she received the text, relieved that she had found the right student. It wouldn’t have been fun to try and explain to a stranger what she was doing. She typed out a quick text before taking a chance to look the other girl over. Lamia was taller then she was, even sitting, she was pretty, and she seemed so confident. Amelia would be afraid of the world if she was blind. She would never know what was coming or happening. The very idea of living in darkness made her shudder. Worst of all she wouldn’t be able to draw if she was blind. Her art was her life, her passion, her one true love.

If u want u can speak out loud and Ill txt back. As long as u face me Ill ‘hear’ you.

Amelia didn’t know Lamia had an accent, she didn’t even know she was Russian. It could be a problem if her accent was thick, if her pronunciation as off. It was still worth a try though. Texting just took up so much time. If only she could speak. Learning to speak without being able to hear yourself is extremely difficult, most people who learned sounded rather strange, at least in the beginning. There where times when she would give anything to able to speak, no matter how strange she sounded. She felt so excluded from the world if no one could sign. Signing was what she missed most about her old school. All the teachers and students could sign, it was so convenient. It felt so normal. Here she at Chicago she had to remind teachers to face the class and always arrive early so she could sit in the front row, close enough to see their lips. Group discussions where awful if students spoke out of turn. She doesn’t have eyes in the back of her head you know!

OOC: is that the movie with the little fuzzy guys who turn evil when they get wet?

[Lamia Zoya Smirnov]

Lamia honestly diskled the word 'disabled'. To her it meant she wasn't capable of taking care of herself. She was perfectly capeable of doing so. It wasn't obvious that she was blind. She hid it as best she could, only by the dark shades forever over her eyes. She didn't walk around with a guide dog, and very rarely did she ever use a cane. She didnt' agree either with the terms that came to mind for them either, 'deaf and dumb' made her growl too, she wasn't 'blind as a bat'. She was normal enough, she just couldn't see.

Her cell viberated in her hands as the message was heard in her ears, she smiled as well turning towards the young woman beside her as if she could see her. She didn't mind being looked at she was use to it, the gaze and questioning eyes. She could tell when someone's eyes were on her. Lamia was 5'4 there abouts. She was confident, her brother gave her that. Also, there beside her in her bag her furries gave her that added confidence.

At the spoken text in her ears she nodded, shifted pullings her bag up into her lap resting her arms lightly on it, facing Amelia.

"We can try, but my accent may make it hard."" She said slowly, not just to perhaps make it easier for Amelia to read her lips but because it was hard for her to find the English words to match the Russian that flowed in her head. Lamia didn't mind being blind it wasn't a cure to her, she was use to it. But she would hate to not be able to speak, that most have been far worse than being deaf. Lamia didn't know it fluent by any stretch but she could sign a few things, the ABC's she knew by heart as well as a few other basic ones. It had been forced moreless upon her in school back in Russia, she later learned American signs within the states, or was learning. Lamia didn't like group discussions either, she never knew who to look at to foucs on their voices when they spoke all at once her senses, no matter how her ears were better for her lack in sight they couldn't keep up with several voices all at once.


....

OCC: Yea, that's the one. (:

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[sarahnobles]

Amelia fidgeted in her seat, excited, still a little nervous. She was on the hyper side today. Maybe they could on a walk later, get moving. She wondered if Lamia had people help guide her, but she had gotten here all on her own. Now that she thought about it Lamia didn’t have anyone helping her, or a dog, or even a cane. She hadn’t met many blind people but she assumed they all had at least a cane. She was tempted to ask her about it, but didn’t want to be rude. They didn’t know each other that well yet it was probably too personal of a question. Perhaps she didn’t want anyone to know? Amelia didn’t bother hiding her disability, not that she could hide being mute. She was proud of who she was, deaf and all.

Amelia beamed when Lamia turned to face her. It faltered a little when she mentioned the accent, she was right it could make things difficult, but she was speaking slowly. Her lips worked carefully, almost struggled, to form the right words and sounds. If she spoke too slowly it could be just as bad as speaking too quickly, but her speed wasn’t unbearable. Another sophomore, Asher, had a slight accent. She imagined it sounded lovely, but had no idea. He wasn’t at all difficult to understand. Lamia’s was stronger, how long had she been speaking English for?

It was difficult to imagine sound, letters she had an idea of. She could mimic people’s lips, blow air and try to feel it, but sound? She was curios, what was she missing in life? She had asked her father to describe sound to her, it hadn’t gone well. He had said that loud sounds where like reds and oranges, but quiet sounds where gray and white. But white could be a bright color like red and orange? What made them loud and white soft? What about tones? They had an old piano in their living room, no one in the house could play, but they still had it. When she was very little, 4 or 5 she used to sit on the bench and press the willing the sound to enter her silent world.

She sent another short txt back.

So far so good, u might have 2 repeat something eventually.

[Lamia Zoya Smirnov]

Lamia wasn't exactly still as a statue either. She was admittedly excited and nervous as well. Looking at her hands would reveal them shaking lightly, she felt them. Sighing she hoped it wasn't a prelude to something more, her hands shaking was often a sign of of a seizer. One hand moved to a smaller zippered pouch, pulling it open she produced a silverish metal pill box. Opening it she let the last two pills inside fall into her hands. She'd have to get more from her brother, he kept all her meds just so if anything happened they were able to find them.'Headache.' She text to Amelia in case she wondered. It was only partly a lie, it wasn't yet a headache but it would be if she didn't take her meds now. Pulling a bottle of water from the side pocket on her bag she opened it taking a drink, holding the water in her mouth she tipped her head back dropping the pills in and swallowed chasing it once more with a swallow of water.

In answer to Amelia's unasked questions, yes Lamia had people .. a person .. who helped, Criss, her older brother. She had a dog, but he wasn't her guide. She had a cane too it was inside her bag. She just didn't like using it. To all honesty she wouldn't have minded Amelia asking she would have answered truthfully. But wouldn't advertise it to the world. She wasn't ashamed of it, she didn't think, just didn't want the world to know.

The dark haired Russian smiled too, as if she could see Amelia's face. Lamia had warned her about her accent, hoping it wouldn't make it to hard to try it with her talking. She'd been within the states since she was twelve, but only started speaking English within the last two years or so. But she clung to her accent her and native tongue refusing to give either up.

As hard as it was for Amelia to imagine sound it was hard to Lamia to imagine seeing. Though she'd had poor eye sight as a kid, now she saw next to nothing. From what she'd gathered Amelia had been born deaf and mute, Lamia had had a taste of sight only to have it stripped from her, so which was worse? Like most blind people she saw the world with her hands, she didn't often touch people to 'see' them. But other things to find something in her bag, or her hand trailing along the walls as she walked. That was how she saw. For her the world was black with no color to speak of. When she was younger she use to hold her eyes open with her fingers as wide as she could and stare into a light bulb just to be able to see the blurred outlines of things around her until her head ached, only then did her world have color. Maybe that was why light hurt her so much now either way her sight would never come back, if anything the blurred images before her eyes, the faint dull shapes that she saw would fad away all together then she like Amelia would be totally void of that sense.

A visible smile crossed Lamia's face at the reply back as she heard it in her ear.

"I'm glad it is not to hard for you to understand." She told her then added, "If I need to slow down or speed up I will. But keep to mind the faster I talk the thicker my accent will come."

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[sarahnobles]

In Amelia’s opinion is was better to be born deaf or blind. At least that way you would never know what you where missing out on. If you had the ability and lost it the experience was traumatic and it was more difficult to learn how to cope and live. When your born disabled you don’t know any other way of life.

Amelia frowned at the quick text, it would be a shame if they had to cut their meeting short. She wouldn’t want Lamia to get sick, but as far as she knew it was just a normal headache and not much to be concerned about. She sent a joking text back,

sure u druggie lol

She was impressed at how well Lamia could find everything she needed. It was something she needed to be able to do, but Amelia could barely walk without stubbing her toe in the dark. If you blinded folded her she probably wouldn’t even be able to find her way from her bed to her dresser in her dorm room. Then again Amelia relied on her sight more then others, just like Lamia relied on her ability to hear. She sent her another text,

Accents are funny. If u watch people’s lips, they move and round and push and suck to form words. When u have an accent they move so much differently.

It wasn’t an insult, just a fact. Amelia could always tell if someone had an accent, even if she couldn’t hear it. She enjoyed watching their lips, it was entertaining, as strange as that sound. She also enjoys eaves dropping. Never on a private, personal conversation, but if she is people watching and friends are having a stupid argument (like is superman better then batman) she’ll ‘listen in’. People can be so funny.

OOC:ugh sorry no muse

[Lamia Zoya Smirnov]

Lamia wasn't born totally blind, but her eye sight had been bad enough as kid that it was as if she'd never had sight. So in many was she had nothing to miss it wasn't as hard as if she'd gone blind later. It was all she was use to soshe had adjusted with it.

She wouldn't end this for anything she didn't have to. Already she was having fun with it. For right now it truly was just a simple ache. Not actually in her head more all over. But the meds would help for now and ward off a seizer, at least for now.

A chuckled escaped her lips at the text from Amelia. 'Whatever. ;p ' She sent back still laughing lightly.

It came with practice and due to habitt. Everything had a place Lamia was careful always to keep it to that place. Practice played a hand greatly too, she 'saw' with her hands just as Amelia could 'hear' with her eyes. When one sense is dulled the others work to adjust and make up for the loss. She could 'hear' people smile or know when they're sad.

Lamia was quiet a moment listening to the reply back. Nodding she agreed. "I can hear accents, if someone here try to speak Russian it would be the same. I can imagine it would look different when they speak it too."

She didn't take it as inslut in the least it was the truth, one she hadn't given much thought to being blind. but could understand how it might look different to the sighted who relied upon it to 'hear' converstations such as Amelia did.

"You could ask same of me.. but how do you get around? Is it hard not hearing?" She asked out of the blue hoping it was to forward or personal of a girl she'd only just meet in person today

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OOC: No worries, good enough for me. My muse is sketcy too, it's 4:36am for me. So with this post I head to bed. ;p

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[sarahnobles]

Amelia watched her laugh and knew her text had been received well before she was given a reply.

Amelia thought about her question. She could cross roads, drive, read a map, getting lost wasn’t an issue. Maybe it was because she didn’t know how life could be easier, but it was hard to think of anything. Then again she didn’t give it much thought, what was the point of having a pity part? Really she didn’t have too hard of a time being deaf, at least she didn’t at home or at her old school. Everyone she knew had been around the deaf, her time at Chicago was a first for her.

I get along fine. I have a hard time w/ groups. I cant see everyones face at once. Or when people come up behind and I dont know they r there. Being mute is harder. I hate writing everything down. Its annoying and takes 4ever.

Being mute was proving more challenging. It was also frustrating. There where times she just wanted to scream and she couldn’t. Getting people’s attention was difficult. Expressing herself, that was a chore. If she could sign she could talk at a normal pace, but writing and texting. It made it socializing a chore, not a fun activity. In class teachers would forget she needed to see their face and talk facing the board or while searching through their desk draws. It was embarrassing having to ask for things repeated.

I know I must miss out on a lot being deaf. Like music or w/e, but being mute is worse.

She didn’t want to send Lamia several text at once, she deserved a chance to respond to them. Then Amelia could ask her about being blind. She was curious. Maybe she could explain sound, after all who better to teach a sense then someone who knew what it was like to live without one?

[Lamia Zoya Smirnov]

Lamia suppressed the laugh though it still shown on her face in the smile that lingered there as she replied back.

She waited then for the answer to her question hoping she wasn't to forward or being rude at all. The silence almost made her think she had. Her hand gently fingered the keys of her phone as if debating to send a text or trying to find the words to say.

The voice in her ears made her sigh in light relief. She nodded lightly as the text was spoken to her.

She was quite a moment taking in the words, she couldn't fathom being deaf, if she were born so she wouldn't have known the difference, or never known not being able to speak. Both were hard, and horrible in their own rights.

"I can't hear everyone, larger groups make me nervous because there is so much that I can't see. Pun not meant, but it scares me not being able to know who is around even if I can feel their eyes and hear there voices." She replied to the first text with a nod of understanding, I have to write it down too, hearing isn't everything." She added.

She had to have things repeated too, or have the notes provided for her when teachers put random thoughts on the board that weren't spoken. Assignments had to be spoken aloud teacher's couldn't just write it on the board and accept her to do it. She hated asking for help for someone to tell her what the board said.

"I know well with myself, I don't want pity from others, but you have mine and respect. I do not think I could live with both." She said. Her accent still heavy in her voice, but diluted some in her attempt to keep the Russian words from slipping from her lips.

She then meet Amelia's gaze as best she could, and gave her a look that said, 'Ask if you want.. only fair'. As if knowing that Amelia wondered the same of her being blind. Yet Lamia wouldn't tell her unless the young girl really wanted to know, or until she knew the question to know how best to answer.

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[sarahnobles]

Amelia didn’t mean to respond so slowly, it just such a difficult question. It also took a long time to find the right words and then type them all out. In a way she was happy when the Russian admitted she couldn’t hear everyone. For a moment she didn’t feel quit as excluded from the world. Not that she had ill wishes for her new friend, but it made her feel more normal. She was also glad she understood what feeling people’s eyes meant. Amelia had that to, sometimes she would see a person’s shadow, but other times she just knew when someone was behind her. Of course there where times when she didn’t notice people at all and then turns around to find them staring at her. A small appeared on her lips as she recalled Carter who done just that. At the time she had been annoyed and startled, but she had forgiven him sense then.

Amelia struggled with her next sentence, she missed part of the beginning, but got the gist of what was being said to her.
If you don’t want pity y r u giving it away 2 others?

She didn’t mean it a mean way, it was just odd. If Lamia didn’t like it why would she waste her time pitying others? She sighed and then sent a second text.

I might be better off w/ both. Ive heard the deaf sound weird when they learn to speak. Bc they cant hear themselves. y don’t u use a cane? They should get these questions out of the way, learn each others weaknesses and strengths. Then they would be better off the next time they went out. If one could hear and one could see then together they where an able-bodied person if they could function together.

[Lamia Zoya Smirnov]

Lamia understood she needed time think on a reply and to type it up. But still it gave her mind time to wander and think on how perhaps it could have been worded different. It was truth too, to many voices talking at once, was as hindering as having to many faces to watch and lips to read. It was because of her blindness that her hearing was better, to much talking or sudden loud unfamiliar noises made her uncomfortable. Shadows she couldn't see the feeling of eyes on her when she couldn't see the person. All made her squirm.

Her face contorted a bit to confusion at Amelia's text as she heard it. She nodded lightly, "You have a point. I suppose I mean more, I understand that it is not easy being different." She replied back looking to blindly to Amelia's face.

Lamia didn't think it mean at all, she had said it and contradicted herself by offering pity. It warranted a question.

She shook her head in a 'no' of Amelia better being both. "I have heard deaf people talk. I do not agree, we all sound strange when we first learn to speak. Think to me perhaps, with my English, it is like that for someone to learn a new language." She said. Before she answered the second question she unzipped her bag a little, reaching inside her hand lingering there long than need be as she pet the two inside her bag, Star her cat and Satar her bat. They were her eyes. Finally she pulled a small compact white cane from her bag. She extended it in her hands letting it go out away from her an allowed the tip to touch the ground. Then looked to Amelia, "Because it is like a neon sign a bright light that draws attention and stares that I do not want." She answered as she slowly pulled the cane back to her, putting it back into it's compact form. "Besides. I am not alone." She said with smile. Lamia didn't just mean in her brother or in her furries she meant to Amelia, it would be interesting them. Walking along Amelia as her Lamia's eyes, Lamia as Amelia's ears and perhaps voice. It would be fun to see if they could learn to function like that.

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[sarahnobles]

Amelia hated surprises. She had a hearing friend (if you could call him that) back home, her father’s friend son. He used to sneak up on her and grabbed her shoulders from behind. Then he would hide from her. Ugh, she couldn’t stand the kid, but was forced to be civil with him for her father’s sake. Of course he understood how she felt and tried to explain it to his friend, but the kid was out of control. The point is that started her dislike of surprises and anyone sneaking up on her. When scary movie plays during a horror film (even Amelia knows there is music because the subtitles will say ‘eerie music plays’ or something similar) its to help eliminate the surprise. You know something bad is coming. She didn’t have that warning that something was coming from behind. Lamia had footsteps at least. Not that hearing people where never surprised of course.

Being different shouldn’t be a crime, but people treat it like it is. Amelia texted back. It was true and with disabilities people acted as if you had a plague, didn’t exist, or where helpless. That isn’t how it works. The disability doesn’t define the person.
man u just killed my only positive about being mute lol, a disappointed sigh accompanied that text.

Amelia looked at the cane surprised. It made sense for it to be compact. Something that long is bound to get in the way once and awhile. She could understand that. Thankfully being deaf isn’t too noticeable. At least, not until you spoke to her. Surprise light up her face at Lamia’s last statement. ur never alone? Isn’t that annoying having someone around all the time? Amelia had yet to meet Lamia’s furries. She was going to be in a bit of surprise, especially since she had never even seen a bat in person before.

[Lamia Zoya Smirnov]

Surprises weren't Lamia's favorite thing either. She couldn't see a 'threat' coming at her so it made her a little nervous in new situations. Her brother when they were kids, and even now, would sneak up on her, he liked tickle her to hear her laugh. At first it scared her, but she learned to listen for his foot steps to know he was coming to get one up on him. Loud music sudden noises or screams, she didn't have the visual cues to know something was coming, so when it came in movies she often jumped.

Sighing she nodded her head, "It seems so, yes. We according to them are the outcast. for being 'not normal'. She said with a light grumble to her voice. It annoyed her when people wanted to baby her because she was blind or to shy away from her because of it. She listened as the next text came in her ears. She heard the sigh in the young girl's voice. "Forgive me." Lamia said softly, and sincer. "Cling to postive it is better than clinging to negatives." She added, reciting one of the strangely cryptic things her brother was often saying.

The cane was a foot long, it was an annoyance. But when she chose to use it it kept people away from her. Normally when she used the cane was when she in essense 'wore the neon sign' that said she was blind because she didn't want to be bothered. But other times she was just more comfortable without it. Nodding lightly she smiled at the text. "I have an older brother. He watches out for me. It is sometimes, but we are really close so we know when to give each other space." She told her then her face fell down to her bag a second, then rose to back to Amelia, "I have too, friends, my furries who are with me always. Even now. I have bat and cat." She added, her voice softer a moment out of habit, she didn't advertize that she had animals on the grounds often. But they were certified, and it had taken quite a lot to get them so. Dogs and horses being the only guide animals. The idea was stupid, she had nothing against either, she and her brother had a large Caucasian Ovtcharka, he could have acted well as her guide, but he was large and growly around new people so it wouldn't have done as well. Plus the fact that he was far to hyper and big to be out of the way in classroom setting.

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